Christmas Gala

What a great night, we held our 10th annual Christmas Gala at a secret location in Toronto. This was our 3rd sit down dinner event for Christmas. It was also one of our best attended evenings with a total of 38 members gathered.

We threw in a few curves, mixed metephores and some fractured fairtales this year.
Instead of the usual Chris Cringle, draw a name from a hat stuff, all members were given a stocking stuffer in the form of a "KNIGHTHOOD" and a "TOTEM".
Gifts were specificaly selected to either reflect the persons nature or recent contributions to the club.

The following are the minutes of the Official Ceremony, which you may find amusing,..., as a post script, most of the stuff is somewhat historically accurate!

In the beginning, there was Charlemagne who stood alone to protect the innocents against the dictates of evil rulers who imposed their blind will upon a free and social people. The year was 742.
All the lands and languages were united as friends and equals.
As the brothers enjoyed the offering brought forth by the noble leaf and sheaf, a cloud of prohibition darkened the skies.

In the year 1042, a few brave men ventured forth to heal the wounds of an unjust conflict and became known as the Knights Hospitaller. Thus begun the first crusade.

The brothers continued to enjoy the offerings, but were made to feel as Lepers and cast out into the cold and rain. Yet an other injustice and hence sprung forward the Order of Lazarus, to bring warmth and shelter to the outcasts. It was the year 1063

By 1119, the poor multitudes started to make pilgrimages to join the Brothers, yet their path was made difficult and the Nights Templer came to be, lighting a new path.

Word of the Brothers soon spread east, but again the do good-ers and the neigh sayers put up prohibitions against the people. By 1210 the “bull” started again with the Golden Bull of Rimini, and the Teutonic Knights came to the call, protecting all lands of Mosovia and beyond.

The brothers soon flourished, in all lands, but alas as with all good things, the spice was fleeting and the abundance of leaf was diminishing. The year was 1038
In the autonomous community of Galicia, Senor Amerigo the keeper of the ancient knowledge passes the wisdom to Columbus, and together with his brave knights they set forth to discover new lands and fruits there of to enjoy.

It is the very broad leaf that he discovered that not only wraps us together in camaraderie, but binds together our flavourful cigars of this very eve and connects us to 12 & ½ centuries of noble brotherhood.

On this eve we celebrate, and knight those brothers who have headed the call & shown, bravery, leadership, and good will to our group.

The Names bestowed upon us tonight are direct modern derivatives of the Celtic names of Knights of the round Table & the Court of Richard the Lion Hearted, Arthur, Lancelot, Mordred, Guinevere, Gawaine, Bedivere,Geraint, Galahad, Bors, Percivale, Marion, Lamorak, Gareth, Kay, Tristan and Geharis


I call forth Ritter Wolf to receive his second knighthood, already of the Order of Schlaraffia, founded in 1859. Its aim was to offset the chauvinistic and egotistic behavior of the nobility, and to create a hideout for men from the exertions and worries of the profane life. The Society's maxims consist of fostering art, humor and friendship.

To wit Wolfgang has always shown us a strong handshake, a good word and a certain elegant grace to each member. Sent as our representative on many a noble function he holds our title of Emissary. Tonight we knight him Sir Gallant Hat. (Galahad)
Step forth and receive your Totem and Parchment.

As I call upon each of you to step forth Sir Gallant Hat will knight thee!

Victor, for hospitality above and beyond, hosting our first back yard bar B Q earlier in the summer we dub thee Sir Spatula.

Larry who has braved the elements and attended every call to order since joining our group we dub thee Sir Comes a Lot. (Lancelot)

Heidi, who’s sparkle and bubblelyness always adds some effervescence to our evenings we dub the Lady Fizz and Cheer. (Guinevere)

George who is often out there alone in the dark spreading the word of our noble cause and steering new members our way we dub thee Sir Enlightens the Boors. (Bors)

Steve, quiet, steady, never a single complaint we dub thee Sir Persevere. (Percivale)

Uwe, the one who spreads knowledge and CD’s of great music from forgotten eras we dub thee Sir Gleen the Tunes. (Gawaine)

Angus, while he often forgets what day we meet, he always makes amends by sending us a useful joke for our weekly humour insert we dub thee Sir Limerick (Lamorak)

Rainer, the one of style, who carves his own path through the ice & snow of the Caledon highlands, and makes his presence known well in advance with the rocky stomp of the size 13 cowboy boots we dub thee Sir Galoshes. (Geharis)

Wolfgang G, who slips in and out almost unnoticed, sits quietly in a corner by himself, yet somehow still manages to draw friend towards his good spirit we dub thee Merlin the Magnetic.

Paul. A man of class and charm, always dressed for business yet with a fear of the cold (and often absent because he has one, we dub thee Sir Dristan. (Tristan)

Yvonne, has not be to many meetings lately yet is one of our longest & most esteemed members. When she does come she’s the center of attention with a myriad of stories of conquests in the Crusade and bites hard into the evening with her pearly white teeth, we dub the Lady Merry Mint. (Marion)

Al, the Bold adventurer who dares to challenge and compete, cleaning the tables at our casino nights and buying reams of tickets at our draws we dub thee Sir Bets Severe (Bedivere)

Ryan, the young apprentice that bravely hosted many a table were Al the Bold held his aces, has grown almost to full manhood before our eyes and know sits among us as a peer. We await the day he fertilizes his lovely wench, and brings forth a future member for our club, We dub thee Sir Jobe the Spike.

Andre (Andy), the gentle artist amoungst us, always deep in thought, caring for the children of the realm, painting the table around him with the constant twirling of his ashes, we dub thee Sir More Drek. (Mordred)

Steve, he who imparts knowledge of the humble grape, who’s club spirit reflects around the room, who’s libation recommendations cause us to sparkle like light from ye old enchanted crystal disco ball, we dub thee Sir Garnet of Vine (Gareth)

Jim who faced the wrath of many a fairer sex and indoctrinated 8 possible new members here tonight (please stand and be seen) we dub thee Sir Way to Go (Kay)

We also here by call upon Mike, John and Darrin to step forward and pledge the oath, thereby being granted journeymanship to the order.

Display your parchments with pride, use your totems with honour.
Ye be all now Knights of the Crystal Rectangle!


And Please Honour your Patrons with a small stypence, for they have come forth with a multitude of great goods for your pleasurable consumption.

Feast, Drink Smoke and be marry Say I King Author, of Emails.